I do not know why God has chosen to us to go through so much testing this past year. It certainly does not feel great to constantly be hitting bumps and holes on the road, so to speak. But this morning God directed my attention to this verse from the Old Testament (on my Facebook profile page of all places):
"Every commandment which I command you today you must be careful to observe, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers. And you shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord."
A light suddenly came up, as I realized that all of the tests and trials are for our own good - to test what is in our, what is in my heart. God has to humble us in order to bring us to a place where we would completely surrender and trust Him and depend solely on Him. It's not fun, it's not easy, it doesn't make sense very often. But God does know and He is patiently waiting whether we will recognize this as His training tool or whether we will continue to look at things as hurdles, obstacles, even bad luck. I pray that I would raise over circumstances and just run to Him, who is the source of comfort, wisdom, knowledge, ove, grace, mercy and peace. Loving God with all my heart, serving Him and bringing Him glory is all that matters. Everything else will somehow, in His time, fall in place. And whathever happens in the meantime, has a potential to bring forth precious fruit even in the hardest times. So, I choose to lift up my eyes, stop fretting about all the circumstances and thank God for all the things that He has graciously given us:
~ I am thankful for being in our own home! There may be many things that are unfinished and are not functioning well, but we have a place to live and it's a beautiful home and in a quiet safe neighborhood. I pray we would be God's light to our new neigbor and that we would see all the opportunities to glorify God where He has placed us at the moment.
~ I am thankful for the children God gave me. It's an awesome privilege to be raising them for Him and I want to do my best, even though school and outside influences seem to be constantly ruining it.
~ I am thankful that my oldest finished elementary school with highest honors and has been selected as the "Student of her class". I pray that all our children would follow in her footsteps.
~ I am thankful that I have electricity, water and gas in our home.
~ I am thankful that we have one functioning shower, for in this hot weather water is so soothing and refreshing.
~ I am thankful that my baby girl is doing alright, although several sicknesses have set back her growing speed once again. I pray that she would finally pick up the pace and no more complications would hinder her development.
~ I am thankful that I could start sewing again and that I have a nice supply of fabrics and notions which will enable me to provide much needed clothing for my family.
~ I am thankful that summer is here and the school year is finished. The stress of the school schedule was just gettig too much. It is nice to be able to relax the pace a bit.
~ I am thankful that it's not as hot as it was a week ago and the we are able to function again.
~ I am thankful for a husband that loves me.
~ I am thankful for God providing for our needs, even when it seems impossible to live on what we have. I am so thankful for His care!!!